Where Do We Belong?

No matter where we are in the world, and how hard we try to integrate cultures and convince everyone of equality, discrimination and segregation will forever exist. Sherman Alexie’s story “The Toughest Indian in the World” presents such issues. He describes the harsh feelings many of the Indians have towards white people and shares their hopes and feelings about the world they know. They learn to be silent in crowd of white people, or they are likely to get hurt.
This is a story of family, love, loss, and sense of self. It is hard for anyone to know exactly who they are or what they want to be, and to try and understand life. Life is one big roller coaster ride-a ride in which anything can happen. I think that most of this story was a journey of a man trying to discover who he was. His life was simple but full of questions. There was pain, hatred, fear, but also love. Is the narrator happy or sad? Where is he going with his life? He didn’t seem to be too excited about anything that had happened in his life so far. He just kept moving along with the routine. Yet what are his feelings after his encounter with the Indian fighter? The narrator even says “but I wanted him to save me.” What is the significance of this statement? As he watches the man walk off into the distance, he is a changed person. I’m not really sure in what way but I feel that the narrator, after his experience, has more sense of self. He goes to bed, “lonely and laughing.” The next day he walks barefoot toward his home. Maybe his experience is just what he needed to reassure himself that he was on the right path. He was heading back to a place he could never leave.

Their Hidden Love

Dane Bright- a young African American from a lower class family; still in high school; does landscaping for the school to make any extra money he can; in and out of juvenile jail for various reasons, mostly drug related.
Jean Lee- a young woman from a Chinese family; extremely wealthy; family moved from China for her father’s job; attending high school in Chicago; 85% of the high school is black- she’s Chinese-talk about standing out and being the minority.
The first day of school was a nightmare. Besides being late because she was unable to find the school, Jean’s schedule was messed up and she attended classes she wasn’t supposed to. Then there was the obvious reason- Jean was the black sheep, except in this case it would make more sense for all the sheep to be thought of as black, and Jean was the only white one. Either way she stood out from everyone. She was the total opposite of everyone else in school.
English had always been Jean’s strongest subject, yet the first few weeks of class were terrifying. As much as she knew about the various reading assignments and books the class read, there was this guy, Dane, who had to try and prove her wrong every day, or start some kind of argument. She thought nothing of him other than he was such a jerk.
Eventually Jean made a few friends, none of them white or Chinese, but she had tons of fun with them. It turns out Dane was one of Jean’s best friends’ cousin, her friend Jamie…what a coincidence. He even lived with Jamie’s family for a few months at a time while his mom traveled for work. Jean couldn’t stand going over there when Dane was around. Yet Jean wasn’t all that comfortable bringing her friends to her family’s home either. Her parents mostly spoke Chinese, still only made Chinese dishes for meals, and were just sort of outcasts in the United States. Jean loved her parents but she wished they were more accepting to customs other than their own as well. Her father was a bit more understanding when it came to various activities she liked to do and new types of foods and clothing Jean liked. Since he did work in the business world in the U.S. now, he went through many changes as well. Yet her mother was less understanding and less lenient when it came to going out with friends. As wealthy as her family was, they lived simply and still strongly practiced their Chinese traditions. Jean felt embarrassed when her friends came over.
A few months passed and it just so happened that Jean became Dane’s tutor. She volunteered at the school and he signed up for one of her sessions. Surprisingly their conversation wasn’t that bad and they made it through most of the hour with only minimal arguments. He continued to show for the session once a week. Whatever it was that changed Jean’s opinion about him, no one will know. Yet she fell in love. Dane took her to many places in and around Chicago-the best restaurants, the best sites, movies, parties, plays, and he even got her to go clubbing with him. Jean had never done anything like it in her life! Dane opened her eyes to a whole new world! She was amazed, but also scared her parents would find out. She knew they would not approve of her seeing a black man and going out on the town.
When Jean’s family left China, their plan was to live in the U.S. for two years and then head back to their country. Jean was to marry a Chinese man from another wealthy family when they got back, a man her parents had approved. Yet little did they know that Jean had no intention whatsoever to do as they wanted. She would run away if she were forced to marry this man back in China.
As in-love as they were, Jean and Dane hit some rough spots in their relationship. It was hard to hide their affection for one another and school was no place to show off either. Pretty much they had to act like they weren’t together, like they were just good friends. Both knew differently though. When the year of high school was over, they planned to get out and travel together and go places where no one would care seeing them together. How they would work around their parents was still a mystery. Yet they didn’t worry much about that because they were so infatuated with one another that nothing else mattered.
The following week Jean’s mom informed her that their family would be leaving earlier than planned. Her father’s job would be over sooner than was expected. Jean had come home from school, anxiously anticipating her Friday night out with Dane. He had a surprise planned for her. Now her happiness was crushed after what her mom told her. She talked to Dane that night and tried not to let her feelings ruin the night, yet there was always the sadness in the back of her mind. Dane and she had two months left to be together. They would have to make the most of it.
Both Dane and Jean reached the conclusion that they would not be apart. They would go someplace where no one would look at them weird, question their relationship, or try to forbid them to see one another. They wanted to be free and independent from criticism. The two came up with a plan for sneaking out and meeting one another the night before Jean was supposed to leave. Their plan seemed efficient and well organized. Now it was just a matter of waiting.
As Jean ran to the hiding spot in the dark alleyway where she and Dane were supposed to meet, something caught her eye. There was a man standing to one side near a garbage can, just watching her. Adrenaline began running through her veins, but Jean kept on walking at a steady pace. She had experience in the city so she wasn’t too worried. Sooner than she expected the man began to follow her. And here we know no more about what happened to Jean. Most likely she was kidnapped and killed. As for Dane, all he found was a trail of blood and clumps of hair. Upon realizing he would never see Jean again until death, Dane committed suicide.
So many questions were left unanswered and both families of Dane and Jean were fairly clueless as to how serious the young couple had actually been. Their lives had revolved around one another and the strong bonds they shared. Their hidden love led to both of their deaths. Love is such a strong, uncontrollable, and unpredictable force. It moves through each and every one of us like an ocean- at times calm and peaceful, the next day angry, forceful, and vicious. This is a continuous cycle that can never be broken. Love is something that no one can live without.

Is This Where I Belong?

Who am I? Where do I belong? There will never be an exact answer to such questions, but I know that Montana is my home, the western part of the state at least. Each town traveled to is surrounded by mountains, different ranges of the large expanse of the Rocky Mountains.
I grew up in Helena, Montana, and there is no town I would have rather lived. My life is here-my family, friends, my home, the land, and all my familiar surroundings; a place that no matter how much it changes, I will always come back to and have my memories from being raised here. And though my friends will come and go and move back and forth between different places and states, I will always remember that we all grew up here and are connected by Helena, Montana.
Attending elementary school, middle school, and high school in Helena and moving from school to school with the same group of people brings many relationships that will never be lost. It feels like you pretty much know everyone and everything about everyone. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Though Helena is not nearly one of the smallest towns in Montana, it is small enough that people know you and people seem to be connected or related in the oddest ways. Word gets around. If you get into trouble in some way, expect others to find out about it. Yet Helena is just big enough that maybe not the entire town will find out about your trouble, but only half the town. And every day Helena is growing and developing, just like many of the cities in Montana. We are so lucky to have the land we do. People are moving here to get out of the big, busy cities and enjoy some of the peace and quiet that can be found in this vast landscape. Yet it is sad to see so many changes and to realize that nothing can ever stay the same.
So I ask myself though, is this where I do belong? And my answer is yes. I stayed in Montana for college because I love the state so much. I am used to its surroundings and towns, my family is close, and this is where I want to be. No matter where I move to or travel to for periods of time, or whom I’m with, I know that I will always come back to the only place I want to call my home.

Pics of Eros

Eros

There are various interpretations of how Eros came to be and who he was. As the first born Eros he was known as Phanes, the primeval generator of life hatched from the world egg at creation. He/she was also Thesis, the spirit of creation, and Physis, nature. Eros was the Protogenos (Primordial deity) of sexual desire. According to the Dictionary of Greek and Roman Biography and Mythology, Eros was one of the fundamental causes in the formation of the world and he brought order and harmony among conflicts. In Aristophanes, The Birds 685, Eros sprang from an egg in the darkness (Erebos). He then mated with Khaos (Air) and hatched forth our race. Penia (Poverty considering her own straitened circumstances) lay down with Poros (Expediency) and gave birth to Eros, in Plato, Symposium 178. Eros was not disobeyed, for he established the ordinances of love. "Eros once more ordered all the varied forms of life by the girdle, sowing the cirlce of the well-plowed earth with the seed of generation." -Nonnus, Dionysiaca 24.325

Love Poem

Love is something
no one can live without.
It overpowers
our minds and bodies
to a point where we
can't function.
Love is harsh
Love is cruel
Love is daring
Love is stressful
Love is something
no one can live without.

What is Love?

Love- caring, friendship, trust, honesty, kindness, affection, passion, lust, longing, anger, hurt.
Nobody can really define love. Everyone has a different idea on what it is and what it is like to love, be loved, or fall in love. Love is waking up in the morning and knowing someone else is thinking about you. Love is small pleasures like breakfast in bed with your loved one, back massages, long walks, heart-to-heart talks. Love is knowing and feeling that no matter where you are, someone loves you. Love can be sad and hard and it takes a lot of work. It takes communication. Love presents itself in various ways, and it is unexplainable even if you do experience it. Love is finding someone you never want to live without.

Comments

Reading other classmates' blogs was very cool. It was interesting to read other people's takes on the various stories and poems we have read as a class. I commented on both Obie's and Adam's blogs...you can connect to their links through the English blog homepage:
http://121-12.blogspot.com/

"Lost Book Found"

I thought the short film "Lost Book Found" by Jem Cohen was really good. It was very interesting and unique and left the viewers questioning and wondering "what next?"
Here's a site to search for background on it:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0230468/
I googled it and there are tons of sites for more information.

Connection: Borges to Stevens

Both works by Borges, "Break of Day" and "The Circular Ruins," present themes dealing with nature and discovery of oneself and one's own existence. Compared to Wallace Stevens' poem, both authors enforce the theme of nature. While Stevens uses writing as an escape, Borges uses writing to search for answers to unknown questions. Is the life we are living real, or just another dream? What makes people think and act the way they do? The authors each have a unique style of writing and their works are very interesting and thought-provoking.

Metaphors from Borges' works

"the world is a mental activity, a dream of souls..." -Break of Day

"the sky the pinkish color of a leopard's gums..." -The Circular Ruins

Break of Day, Circular Ruins

Jorge Luis Borges is an extraordinary writer. His style and imagination are very unique. I found both works we read by him very interesting- "Break of Day," and "The Circular Ruins." Each piece questions humans' existence. Are we really here, or is everything we are experiencing a dream? As much as the poem and short story are for entertainment, they do have good points and force their readers to think. My overall reaction to the readings were that I would love to read more works by this author.

Break of Day

"which declares that the world is a mental activity, a dream of souls, without foundation, purpose, weight or shape."

-Do we really exist or is everything in life and the world simply a dream? Are we dreaming all the time and dreaming what seems to be real to us?
-Borges writes a lot about the existence of the world and humans and questions the reality of such things. He writes that each day is a new day and everything is reborn in the morning. Nobody can really know what is real or fake, if what we live is really life with concrete objects and beings. Life brings up constant questions as "how, why, and is it real?"
-Compared to Wallace Stevens' poem, both authors enforce the theme of nature. While Stevens uses writing as an escape, Borges uses writing to search for answers to unknown questions. The authors each have a unique style of writing and their works are very interesting and thought-provoking.

Metaphor

A comparison between two dissimilar things, not using "like" or "as," but usually "is."
Ex: "The ocean is a mirror." "Life is a circle." etc.

-A metaphor casts a first subject as being or equal to a second subject in some way (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metaphor).

Fairbanks bus 142

http://www.commontales.com/os/we.aspx?e=725

http://www.janaedwards.com/wild.html

The Poem That Took the Place of a Mountain

"It reminded him of how he had needed
A place to go to in his own direction,"

To me, these two lines of the poem are referring to Wallace Stevens' personal feelings about his life. Being an insurance executive couldn't be that exciting...therefore poetry was his escape from the stress of everyday life. Writing was his get-away and "place to go to in his own direction." This poem represented the solitude he may have needed. Everyone needs a break from their routine daily lives and everyone has certain hobbies, talents, or activities they may do for enjoyment and to take the mind away from reality for a little while. Stevens presents such ideas in these two lines of the poem...writing is his escape from whatever he needs to get away from.